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30 September 2009 @ 07:11 pm
I am so afraid of what lies in a day, even when I wakeup in the morning, I fret.
I don't know how long I can go, living in fear like this.
 
 
09 August 2009 @ 11:10 am
my mom was verbally abusive to me since i was about 8. i'm now 16 and for the past 10 months she's been so much better, it's good. it's not perfect but it's a huge step.

but now i have an eating problem. 

i think i force myself to constantly have some major problem, because it's easier to have a excuse to not do my best, than to actually live my life. 
what a sick circle. 
 
 
08 August 2009 @ 11:23 pm
The word suicide is constantly on my mind. I wonder how long until I start taking it seriously.
 
 
08 August 2009 @ 09:17 pm
 i recently realized that i am anorexic. it freaks me out and i dont want to be obsessed about my weight anymore. but the other part of my wants to loose the pounds and i dont listen to the other part. .. i just dont know what to do...
 
 
Current Mood: anxious
 
 
09 August 2009 @ 01:16 am
i make myself throw up after almost everything i eat. my teeth are destroyed but i care more about being thin than having a nice smile.